you see a mousetrap, I see free cheese and a fucking challenge

Well, I've returned to Sheffield now. Lovely Sheffield. It's nice to be back home; even though I've only been living here since September it very much feels more like home than London. Not that I didn't have fun while I was in London, but I just feel so much more secure here.

Last few days in London were interesting, I suppose. I did an open mic night in Camden with Lizzie and another guy from the Revue, Mike, which nearly didn't go ahead because there was barely any audience but then we rustled together a couple of Croatians and they sufficed, just about. I can't say it was brilliant, but sometimes these things happen. The reason we were doing it was because Lizzie and Mike had heats for the Laughing Horse New Act competition in the following couple of days and they wanted to get some practice in for those, and I wanted to do a set before my heat, which is actually tomorrow, in Newcastle. Neither Lizzie and Mike got through their heats, which is a pity; I was at Lizzie's and I thought she was definitely one of the better comics there, all bias aside, because she was doing something substantially different to the others, but I think competitions tend to reward quite average comedians (although there was one guy I really liked who got through that one). Mike unfortunately got landed in a very tough heat, which held against him somewhat. I'm not sure how I'm feeling about mine, really. I'm happy with the material I'm doing but I'm not bringing anyone with me to be part of the audience, who are the ones voting after all. Well. We'll see. I'm very much of the mindset that I'm going to treat it as just another gig, just with potentially bigger consequences, but if I don't get through it's not a failure because I've only been doing this since October.

Since Lizzie and I have been back in Sheffield I've been attempting to work but mainly playing Skyrim. Although I have written a fair bit of the essay I'm doing for Gender, Sexuality and Society, but it's very much slow work because Skyrim is obviously too distracting. I've seen some of my friends; went out for drinks with Dan, Olivia, Liam, Corinne and Sean (as well as one of their friends), and the next evening Olivia came round to Opal 2 and we got quite drunk. I beat Liam at pool, which I was really chuffed about. It's been really good, but I'm most excited about tomorrow night, which is when Sam and Andy are coming back. Sam's coming to meet me from the train station after I get back from Newcastle, which is about midnight, so I'm going around his. It's been strange without them being around, and I'm looking forward to seeing them again. Well, especially Sam. Ahem.

Filmwise: I've expanded my list, which has mainly been filled with films from last year which have piqued my interest, and I think I'm going to go to see Shame with Sam when it comes out here. I actually just finished watching Akira with Lizzie, as she bought it for me for my Christmas present. It was the first proper anime I've ever watched and I think I liked it but I'm not quite sure what I feel about it exactly? It's properly mental. That's all I know for certain. In my list I've written WHAT THE FUCK next to it because mainly that's the reaction I had. Maybe I'll watch it again to form a proper opinion.

Oh, and I finished reading God Bless You, Mr Rosewater by Kurt Vonnegut last night, which was a gorgeous book and I think it's replaced Cat's Cradle as my favourite Vonnegut novel. I also eventually got around to listening to the new Los Campesinos! album, which was much better than I was expecting; I found it more immediately enjoyable than Romance is Boring.

Yesterday I turned 21. That seems like a decent place to start. Age is only a number, I know, but I'm universally considered an adult now, more or less, and that's a pretty big thing. I feel like an actual adult now anyway. I can drink wine and go into sex shops without giggling, I think that's all you need to be considered a grown up. That's all you should need. Fuck logic and responsibility and common sense.

Anyway, Lizzie came down on Wednesday and then we went out on my actual birthday. We went to this sex shop in Hoxton which specifically caters for women, and Lizzie attempted to persuade me to buy a sparkly purple riding crop but I declined for reasons of, er, practicality mainly. And then we went to the BFI Southbank bar and had cocktails, and then we went to eat a fair amount of steak at Black and Blue in London Bridge, and then we went to go to see Stewart Lee's new show at the Leicester Square Theatre and this is sounding a lot like the essays I used to write in primary school except with more alcohol and slightly more grown up hobbies.

And then we went home.

The next morning I got a text from Sam, my boyfriend, quoting some of the lyrics to Leaving on a Jet Plane by John Denver because he was going away on holiday with Andy (his best friend, Lizzie's boyfriend). Which was pretty sweet, right, except for the fact that I immediately started down the thought path of 'well that's tempting fate a bit isn't it, I hope he doesn't ACTUALLY DIE IN A PLANE CRASH, because we all know what happened to John Denver don't we'. He hasn't died in a plane crash, though. I checked. Now all I need is for him to not to die in a plane crash when he comes back and everything will be fine.

For the meantime, though, I'm in Bristol with Lizzie, and we're going out with her friends for New Year's Eve. Then other stuff will happen in due course. That's how having a life works, right? Right.